


Love of my life

by destielscherrrypie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fix-It, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:26:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28780476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destielscherrrypie/pseuds/destielscherrrypie
Summary: Dean meets Cas in heaven, Cas tries to assure Dean that it's okay that he doesn't return those feelings and hopes that they can stay friends. But Dean has other thoughts.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55





	Love of my life

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my fist destiel fic i hope you like it, it's a sort of fix it. English is not my first language so sorry for any mistake I will try to correct as much as I can!! :)

Dean sat in the impala, turning on the radio "Carry on my wayward" started to play and he smiles. Never in milion years did he thought that he would actually end up in heaven when he died. He thought that his soul was to much torn apart, to dark to end up in heaven. After all the stuff he did and not to meantion all the stuff he did with the mark, it was just to hard to believe that he would ever end up in such a beautiful place as heaven. And this heaven that Cas and Jack made was pretty great. Everyone living peaceful, his whole family. He can finally see Ellen, Bobby, Jo and even his parents again, talk to them, hug them. Heaven knows how much he wants to do that. But first he had to do something. He had to find an old friend and confess something. Words he shoud've said so many years ago, when he first started to feel something. But he was scared by his trauma caused by so many years of hiding one part of himself, hiding even from him. John Winchester made it clear so many years ago that boys kissing boys was wrong and anyone who thought different was sick and needed to be cured of that illness. So Dean decided the best thing to do is to lock that part of himself deep down. Sometimes though the desire in him couldn't stay in him, he had to let it outside but he always made sure no one noticed. Sometimes he would wink at a guy or even look longer at an attractive man but he always made sure nobody saw. But when a certain someone showed up that locked up part of him just kept coming up and it was so hard to keep it down. So he turned it into anger, sometimes drinking so much he couldn't remember his own name, and certainly not remember the very blue eyes that have been haunting him for weeks now everytime he closed his eyes. Same teary eyes, same "I love you" playing trough his mind. 

So many things he coud've said but didin't. Overwhelmed that his feelings could maybe be returned he was in shock. Standing there listening to the blue eyed man listing all these wonderfull things about Dean made his brain broken. He couldn't believe what he was hearning. So he did the best he could, but the thought that he didn't get to say it back haunts him every night. The thought that he died without hearing dean say he loves him to, makes him sick. 

Dean starts driving, praying that his friend is somewhere in this heaven. After what seems like hours he arrives at the bunker, it's the same as it is on earth. He goes to his own room, every picture is exactly where it should be, damn it even Deans "dead men" robe is there. But his friend is nowhere to be seen. So he starts praying, he sits quietly on his bed. Praying to his friend, wondering if he would show up. 

"!" Dean heard the sound that made his stomach erupt with butterflies. Many years ago he would always get scared when his friend would just show up the, flapping of his wings only thing heard, but over the years he got use to it. Now he loves that sound. Slowly he opens his eyes, a small smile breaking trough on his face. Cas. The same as always. Eyes blue like the ocean, dark hair and same trenchcoat. But he looked anxious, almost scared of Dean. 

"Hello, Dean" he heard Cas say and he just couldn't keep it together. He got up hugging his friend tightly. 

"Hey, buddy" said Dean after a few minutes finally letting go of Cas, both of their eyes kind of teary. But Dean couldn't start crying he had a big overdue confession to make, almost 12 years overdue. He doesn't know the exact moment his feelings for Cas got where they are now. Maybe it was in purgatory when he spent weeks trying to find him or maybe it was even years before that when Castiel disobeyed heavens rules for him. He doesn't know the exact moment he fell for him, but he did fall. He fell harder than he did for anyone else. 

"I.." Castiel is speechless. "How are you here? What happend?"

He tells the story of how they went on a hunt and a rusty nail did the rest of the job. In return Castiel told him how jack rescued him from the empty. He made a deal with the empty. Castiel woud be alive and in return Jack would make the emtpy silent again. Which he did and now he was here, alive and well. 

"Wow, why didn't you come back?" asks Dean kind of already knowing the answer. Dean wasn't really responding well or really responding to Castiels love confession. 

"I didn't think it would be okay, considering how we left things" the room is quiet after that both of them remembering that night and how heartbroken and sad Dean was left. Sitting against the wall and just crying the whole night. "But it's okay, I thought about it. Happines isn't in the having it's in the saying it" he repets himsefl ",so it's okay if you don't feel the same way"

Dean looked at him with kind of wide eyes. 

"I'm sorry Cas" he started because honestly, he thought about this moment and what he was going to say but for some reason he couldn't remember anything he thought off and now he was left there with no thoughts in his brain. "But that night you were saying all these nice stuff about me and death was banging on the door. And you were saying stuff about this thing you wanted but couldn't have and I was just left there with all these informations" he stopped there. Cas was looking everywhere but him clearly waiting for Dean to say the big 'i don't feel the same way'. He approched closer to Cas and took his face into his hands, making the blue eyes look into his green. 

"But I never got to say it back.. I love you Cas" he finally says, he couldn't believe it but he said it. Finally, he was so happy knowing that Cas knows he loves him too. ", I love you so much in the same way Sam loves Eileen. And I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner but the thought of you a celestial being, so beautiful, so smart, could ever love someone as broken and angry as me seemed impossible so I locked the feeling down, drowning it in alcohol and strange women, fooling myself that the feelings for you would just vanish. But they never did. And when you said all those things that night I was so shocked that someone like you could love someone like me. And I'm sorry it took me till now to say it. I love you Castiel, I love you so much" Dean doesn't know when started crying but he could feel tears running down his face but he didn't care. They weren't sad tears. Not this time, they were happy tears. 

Castiel was looking at him with tears and then finally decided to close the distance between them. It semmed like the whole world stopped when they kissed. Castiels lips worked so perfectly with Deans, their bodies fitted perfectly with eachother, almost as if they were made for eachother. Dean couldn't bealive this was happening, he felt like the luckiest son of a bitch ever. And he really was. They kissed for what seemed like hours. When they finally stopped they were both out of breath, looking at eachother with so much love. 

Dean nevet felt this sort of way. In all his 42 years of life he met many women, he loved few of them even when sometimes he wouldn't admit it. But this. The love he felt for the man infront of him can't even be described with words. Castel was his endgame. 

"We wasted so many years" says Dean, they were both laying in bed. Just laying there holding hands talking about everything and nothing. Just enjoying eacothers compay and they were so happy to be doing that. 

"Yes, but now we have a forever" says Cas, turning his head to look at Dean. Dean could look at those eyes forever and never get bored.

"Sure you won't get bored of me?"

"I could never" with that Dean kisses him again this time with no tears and so much more passion.

Dean felt something he hasn't felt in a long time. Pure happinnes. And he was so glad he got to experince that with the love of his life.


End file.
